Norman Heller Quaker Plays | |
How Fluffy, the Adorable Puppy, |
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Narrator: What if Cinderella were a Quaker? Sounds like the perfect way to ruin a Penelope enters the living room. Cinderella is sitting, reading, Fluffy lies at her feet and Claudette is swiping her smart phone. Penelope: “Claudette, did I hear you talking on your phone?” Claudette: “Oh, there you are, Penelope. Yes, I just got off the phone with a beauty Penelope: Really? I had nearly given up hope. Where is this beauty parlor? Claudette: “Middletown. I know: it’s not really close by, but every girl in the kingdom Penelope: “Okay. What time?” Claudette: “Five-thirty and six fifteen.” Penelope: “But, that’s too late. We won’t have time to get ready.” Claudette: “AM.” Penelope: “What? Five-thirty in the morning? You know I’m not a morning person!” Claudette: “So what do you suggest? Shall we ask Mom to do our hair?” Penelope: “Oh, all right. Cinderella, you’ll have to get up extra early to build a nice fire Cinderella: “Yes, Sister.” There’s a knock at the door. Fluffy: “Ruff! Ruff!” Claudette: “That could be the prince’s royal messenger with our invitation to the ball!” Penelope: “Cinderella, hold Fluffy. You know she will scoot outside any chance she Cinderella leans forward and takes hold of Fluffy’s collar. Claudette: “And, don’t let that dog sniff the royal messenger.” Claudette hurries to the door and returns followed by Fairy Godmother. Claudette: Cinderella, your fairy godmother’s here. Come on, Penelope, I bought Claudette and Penelope exit. As soon as they begin to leave, Cinderella releases Fluffy who immediately approaches Fairy Godmother, sniffing. Fairy Godmother pats her head. Cinderella: “How good to see you, Fairy Godmother. How are you?” Fairy Godmother: “Exhausted! I think I have been to every thrift shop in the kingdom. Fairy Godmother produces a fancy dress from a shopping bag and Fluffy sniffs it. Cinderella: “It’s…It’s really very lovely, and you are so kind.” Fairy Godmother: “But?” Cinderella: “Well…it’s not really me.” Fairy Godmother: “Oh, for heaven’s sake, Cinderella, you’re a good looking kid. Of Cinderella: “It’s very glamorous, but not at all…simple.” Fairy Godmother: “I should have guessed. It’s the simplicity issue. Look, Sweetie, your Cinderella: “Are you referring to her Quaker values?” Fairy Godmother: “Okay, since you brought it up, yes. Quakerism is…well…a little Cinderella: “I’m trying to be a good Quaker like my mother.” Fairy Godmother: “Okay! Okay! But, look at it this way: this prince of ours has some Cinderella: “And, I can’t live a lie. I have to face the fact that Claudette, Penelope and Fairy God Mother: “You’re not even going to the ball, are you.” Cinderella: “I don’t see how, but I really appreciate your generosity.” Fairy God Mother: “Well, I feel as bad for the prince as I do for you. He will probably Cinderella: “Integrity and kindness. Those are Quaker values.” Fairy God Mother: (mockingly) “Those are Quaker values. I hope you’re happy with Cinderella: “I think I will be.” Fairy God Mother: “At least you will have the house to yourself. Now don’t you try Fluffy: “Ruff!” Fairy Godmother exits. Act Two Outside the ballroom, Sam, the prince’s chauffeur, sits on a bench, his back to the wall, and he is sleeping. The prince emerges from the building and approaches. Prince Evan: “How’s it going, Sam?” Sam springs to his feet. Sam: “Your Highness! I’ll bring the car around!” Prince Evan: “Relax, Sam. I’m afraid we’re not leaving. I had to take a break. Do you Cinderella’s voice comes from offstage, followed by barking. Cinderella: “Fluffy, come back here!” Fluffy: “Ruff! Ruff!” Fluffy enters, running and barking. The prince steps forward and catches her. Prince: “Whoa, little pup!” Cinderella enters, breathless. Fairy Godmother follows and takes a position to the far Cinderella: “Oh, thank you so much! That’s my sister’s dog. I have to watch the dog Prince Evan: “No problem, Miss. May I ask your name?” Cinderella: “Cinderella.” Prince Evan: “Like the smelly candle?” Cinderella: “No. that’s citronella. I’m Cinderella.” Prince Evan: “Oh, I get it. What’s a Quaker?” Cinderella: “Quakers are a religious group who emphasize a personal relationship with Prince Evan: “Interesting. So, why aren’t you at the ball?” Cinderella: “I don’t dress up like that. Lavish occasions like the ball are not my thing.” Prince Evan: “Mine either, as it turns out. I thought all girls liked to spend money on Cinderella: “There are exceptions to all generalizations. Unfortunately, I seem to be Prince Evan: “That makes you exceptional!” Cinderella: “Thanks.” Prince Evan: “So, you don’t have to get dressed up to go to church?” Cinderella: “No, I usually wear…this.” Prince Evan: “Amazing. And, it’s also amazing to meet someone who’s not into Cinderella: “I’d like that.” Prince Evan: “And, don’t worry. I don’t always dress like this. I own jeans, too.” Cinderella: “Oh no! Sorry, I have to run!” Cinderella slips a leash over Fuffly’s head and runs with the dog offstage. The prince is left holding Fluffy’s collar. Prince Evan: “Wait! I don’t know where you live!” Prince Evan stands looking after Cinderella and does not see the step-sisters approaching. Penelope: “I’m going to faint! It’s so hot inside!” Claudette: “Can’t you fan yourself faster? We’re missing the ball. Here, give me that Claudette grabs the fan and starts fanning Penelope vigorously. Penelope sinks down on a bench. Claudette catches sight of the Prince. Claudette: “Penelope, look!” Penelope turns and spots the prince. She stands, faces her sister and mouths the words: Penelope: “It’s the prince!” Claudette mouths in reply: Claudette: “I know!” The two girls glide toward the prince who now notices them and turns to acknowledge them. The girls curtsy as Claudette speaks. Claudette: “Your Highness, it’s warm inside isn’t it?” Prince: “Yes, indeed!” Penelope: “I started to faint!” Penelope spots the collar in the prince’s hand. Penelope: “That’s my Fluffy’s collar!” Prince Evan: “Fluffy’s your dog?” Penelope: “Yes!” Prince Evan: “You’re Cinderella’s sister?” Claudette: “How do you know that?” Prince Evan: “Cinderella was…um…taking Fluffy for a stroll, and the dog slipped her The prince turns to Penelope. Prince: “I will return the collar to you, of course, but I wonder if I might exchange it for Penelope turns to Claudette and says in a loud whisper: Penelope: “He wants my address!” Claudette responds in a loud whisper: Claudette: “Well, don’t faint before you tell him!” Penelope turns back to the Prince and speaks slowly with emphasis. Penelope: “I live in the stylish home at the corner of Park Avenue and Vanderswoggle Prince Evan: “Thank you. Here you go.’
The prince hands the collar to Penelope and bows slightly. Prince: “Now, please excuse me.” The prince exits, reentering the ballroom.. Penelope: “I just knew I looked awesome in this dress!” Penelope and Claudette scurry after the prince. Act Three Cinderella and Fluffy are returning home from meeting Prince Evan. They have stopped Cinderella: “Fluffy, how could I have lost your collar? I’m cooked!” Fluffy makes a whimpering sound. Fluffy: “Hmmmm.” Fairy Godmother steps forward and remarks with sarcasm: Fairy Godmother: “Don’t ask your old Fairy Godmother for help.” Cinderella: “Oh, Fairy Godmother! I don’t think all the thrift-store magic in the world Fairy Godmother: “Fairy godmothers do not spy. We watch over. I was watching over Cinderella: “Whatever. Did you notice what happened to Fluffy’s collar?” Fairy Godmother: “As a matter of fact, I did. The prince was left holding the collar Cinderella: “To Penelope?” Fairy Godmother: “Yes, in exchange for your address.” Cinderella tries not to look too excited. Fairy Godmother: “Not so much spying, my dear, as waiting for an opportunity to Cinderella: “Apologize? For what?” Fairy Godmother: “For not respecting your values. I loved your mother like a sister. Cinderella: “Thank you.’ Fairy Godmother: “And, if I had to say—if I were forced, that is—I would have to admit Cinderella: “That makes me very happy, Fairy Godmother.” Fairy Godmother: “Come along. I’ll see the two of you home.” Cinderella and Fluffy stand up. Fluffy sniffs the bench. Fairy Godmother: “I can’t believe you told the prince you’re a Quaker.” Cinderella: “He didn’t seem to be put off by Quakers.” Fairy Godmother: “He doesn’t know anything about them.” Cinderella: “Well, perhaps I’ll have to change that!” They all exit stage right.
Narrator: In the traditional fairytale, Cinderella is transformed from a scullery maid
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Norman Heller Quaker Plays | |